Marriage

[golddust]

Someone else said something along the lines of, "the one who holds your head while you're puking is real."  That's true, but it's also true that you never look at your spouse the same way after you hold her head while she's puking

Aboslutely. Now I know who I can count on when things get bad, and now I know when I get sick or need help who is going to be there for me. Now I can look at them as the fellow human and committed life partner they are. Not just the slob that won't pick up their clothes, or just the great lover. I can see them in their infinite being -- good bad and everything in between. And all mine for the length of time that we're meant to have.

[Chesyre]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/vcPMKD8GFkI&amp;ap=%2526fmt%3D18&amp;rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/vcPMKD8GFkI&amp;ap=%2526fmt%3D18&amp;rel=0</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/XpFD-kgQxnI&amp;ap=%2526fmt%3D18&amp;rel=0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/XpFD-kgQxnI&amp;ap=%2526fmt%3D18&amp;rel=0</a>

 

[ReddDogg]

Someone else said something along the lines of, "the one who holds your head while you're puking is real."  That's true, but it's also true that you never look at your spouse the same way after you hold her head while she's puking

Aboslutely. Now I know who I can count on when things get bad, and now I know when I get sick or need help who is going to be there for me. Now I can look at them as the fellow human and committed life partner they are. Not just the slob that won't pick up their clothes, or just the great lover. I can see them in their infinite being -- good bad and everything in between. And all mine for the length of time that we're meant to have.

My wife and I have each held the other while puking, have seen the worst of stuff, and we don't jump each other's bones like we used to.  But hey, she is by far and away my best friend and we still get frisky enough to keep us happy, so I think this is the way to do it.  I can't even fathom how it works when the wife still has a true best friend that is not the husband, and the same is true of him.  My wife has a best friend, but that friend isn't a better friend that me.  We just don't count each other when thinking about best friends.

[golddust]

We're 28 and 34, so we're too young to NOT want to jump each others bones on a very regular basis.  But we are best friends. We always have been. When we met, we were best friends for 9 months before we started going out. I remember the first week we knew each other we started talking about stuff and didn't stop. IM, text messaging (the clunky and expensive olden days of text messages!) and after work we'd get on the phone because he lived in L.A. for the first couple of months. But it was pure platonic friendship and it was so great, taking it to the next level eventually was just bound to happen.

[April]

We're 28 and 34, so we're too young to NOT want to jump each others bones on a very regular basis.  But we are best friends. We always have been. When we met, we were best friends for 9 months before we started going out. I remember the first week we knew each other we started talking about stuff and didn't stop. IM, text messaging (the clunky and expensive olden days of text messages!) and after work we'd get on the phone because he lived in L.A. for the first couple of months. But it was pure platonic friendship and it was so great, taking it to the next level eventually was just bound to happen.

How long have you guys been married, golddust?

[golddust]

We're 28 and 34, so we're too young to NOT want to jump each others bones on a very regular basis.  But we are best friends. We always have been. When we met, we were best friends for 9 months before we started going out. I remember the first week we knew each other we started talking about stuff and didn't stop. IM, text messaging (the clunky and expensive olden days of text messages!) and after work we'd get on the phone because he lived in L.A. for the first couple of months. But it was pure platonic friendship and it was so great, taking it to the next level eventually was just bound to happen.

How long have you guys been married, golddust?

It'll be 8 years in March.

[Candy*Land]

If I start talkin about my marriage it's going to be cliche city -- we've had our ups and downs, grown apart, grown together, grown up!!

I do try to be polite even when I want to sprinkle something in his Big Gulp ( I hate Big Gulps, sorry to offend).

 

[Erin]

I've been married 14 years.  Usual story, ups and downs....almost didn't make it around year 9.  I was dealing with fertility issues, nothing physically wrong with either one of us, but it just wasn't happening.  I had almost decided that I would say fuck it, become a party girl, because obviously becoming a Mother wasn't gonna happen.  Part of the reason I'd chosen my husband was because I knew he'd be a great Dad, and I desparately wanted to be a Mother.  So, what do you do when the only thing you'd ever wanted in life appears impossible?  No fertility treatments, thank you, I feel as though life is usually as it should be.  Perhaps I was meant to remain chidlless.  In which case, my life would be very different.

I went a little crazy.  I partied with the best of them, in a military town,no less.  Wild times, drunk usually 3-4 nights a week. My husband stuck with me in my craziness, although to be honest he was working so much that he barely noticed. I was planning the split, trying to find a way to do it where we were both taken care of, our cars paid off, etc.  Almost ready, going to separate by Spring.....and, in November of 2004, I find out I'm pregnant.

So August 2005 our daughter is born, and life is as it should be.  I have been blissfully happy with marriage and parenting ever since.  Life is strange sometimes.

[s_j_wolf]

Been living together with my husband for nearly 9 years (married for 6 1/2, dated for about 10 days before moving in together). We got married because we thought we'd apply for immigration to Oz, and married couples could "prop each other up" in their application scores. We gave up the immigration idea very soon (no money to start from), but we stayed married.

I don't think I know precisely what "love" is. I'm not sure I know how to "love".

I enjoy the companionship and the way all burdens seem to be lighter when you share them, and the satisfaction of supporting the other, and teaching the other new things and learning from the other.

I do feel the air getting brighter when I see my husband after a brief time apart (like a few hours  ) and Mondays are very difficult (time crawls by) after we've spent a week-end by ourselves.

We do not have children: when it was the right biological time to have them we were in an uncertain material situation, then things picked up a little, but I no longer have the medical courage to do it. That's what I tell everyone. I know (and my husband knows) that having babies today is bordeline insane. Besides, it would bring us under the povery threshold, and there's no organised safety net under there...

We're not even good Christians: we've given up on Christianity -- at least on the institutionalised, cult part of it (very big around here, Orthodox country).
We both believe in honesty, justice, respect and generally doing the right thing.

I think a big part of it is "we both", although we come from different backgrounds and have very different trades.
When it comes to family/relationships, home and leasure -- the important things!!! -- we think the same!

And yes, friends are very necessary, as no-one can be "all things to all men".

Edited to add: we're both 38, we met at a time when both knew (roughly!) what we wanted out of life...