Don't stop believing!

[TheDignityofStruggle]

Back in April, my girlfriend graduated from the University of Michigan.  She received two Bachelor's degrees.  Part of her family flew out for the ceremony, and one night, after I had gone to sleep, her step father had imbibed a bit, and proceeded to let fly his true feelings about me.  They were not positive.

Now, her step father is pretty much a coward, and I could care less what he thinks.  Hilariously enough though, he is everything we generally rip on here on LATOC.  He worked for GM (at a Cadillac and Hummer dealership), his house is in Mesa Arizona, about twenty miles from his job in Tempe (so he got to commute in the Hummer they loaned him), and he basically believes the whole point to life is not only keeping up with the Joneses, but out earning them.

His general premise for disliking me, is that I am not fond of work, or at least, his concept of work.  I have no desire to chase riches or possessions, and so from his perspective, I am lazy and looking for a handout.  Beyond that, he believes I have changed my girlfriend, and turned her into a dark, spiteful, pessimist.

Now sure, I have informed her of the PO doom concept.  I had her, as a favor to me, read Matt's main page.  I have always reminded her, that the future we were raised to think we were promised, may not, and probably will not be there for us. 

During his tirade, she tried to explain that she is not a negative person, only attempting to be realistic given the circumstances.  He wrote all notions of decline in the future off as nonsense.

Flash forward to a few days ago. His dealership is downsizing, and he has been pushed out of his cushy position into one that is commission based.  The value of their home has dropped below the amount they owe on their mortgage.  They have two young children and a mountain of debt, and now my girlfriend's mother is calling her, worried that they can't pay their bills.  Turns out, over the course of the last few years, they have made some very, very stupid decisions, one of which, was to "landscape" the backyard.  Mind you, they live in Mesa, AZ.  They should have just been happy with the gravel, cacti, and gorgeous view of the mountains, but nay, they spent $35 THOUSAND fitting the backyard with what is essentially astro-turf and a gas powered stone fire pit that doesn't even double as a grill.  They took many trips to Hawaii, bought a trailer for camping trips, and of course, have not one, but two giant flat screen T.V.'s.

After the rash of shit this guy gave us, it's hard to feel any sympathy.  Though they are not my immediate family, I think they are probably the first in a long line of my relatives who are about to start going under.  It's quite frightening, because you don't know what to tell them.  We live well within our means, and there isn't any extra to go around.  I tried telling anyone in my family who would listen about this, starting back in 2004.  I advised my parents probably twice a year to sell their house when it was at it's peak price.  Now they don't want to, even though the mortgage is high and the kids are long moved out, because they are waiting for that bubble price to come back.

You can't really say "I told you so," to family, and hell, even if you could, most of them still aren't listening.

Anyway, my girlfriend's step father is a weak, spineless, outline of a man, and as terrible as it is to say, it wouldn't surprise me if one of these days he just offed himself.  When your whole life is about achieving monetary status, losing everything you thought gave you meaning can't be any easy river to swim against.

[not710]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDY2I5pni90 (External Embedding Disabled)

[TheDignityofStruggle]

America is going to have a Soprano's ending.  Everything is going to just cut to black and this song is going to kick in.

[mtlouie]

Well, live and learn.

[TLR1138]

Now I've got that damned Journey song in my head. I won't forget this, Dignity. 

On the serious side, I'm trying to develop more understanding and compassion for people who've been totally brainwashed by our society all their lives, only have to it fall apart for them at some point. I could be smug about it because I started waking up 20+ years ago, but what if I hadn't? I could just as easily be one of the brainwashed masses, especially if I'd gotten married, had kids, bought a suburban home, etc.

[Hope@ZeroKelvin]

Pride goeth before a fall.

[Suspect Zero]

Try not to have too big of a grin on your face the next time you see him.     

[Six Gun Jim]

I wouldn't even consider him, never, not even for a minute. The people around me who actually tell me that there is something wrong with me go on my dead list, the corporations and bullshit got them, they are dead. To thine own self be true, and practice it, in force, daily. Your only chance is to surround yourself with as many flexible people as you can, I don't even want the staus quo crowd here. They will fuck up the works completely with their anger, denial and bargaining. This shit all comes down to how much you care about making it yourself and moving on into the new deal. These people had their life, they didn't see things the way they are, you cannot spend any of yours trying to remedy that. Even my own family who isn't aware, I'm sorry man but there is nothing I can do. I don't want most of them coming here with their emotional and psychological disconnect though. I wish them luck but they have all had the same shot I did, they just didn't use it. Hard world, after this sorts out maybe we can try real hard to make sure it never happens again. I for one plan on living to try, maybe if for no other reason than to see if we can do a better job of it. Good luck dig, I know what you mean, that's how I got to where I am with it. -James

[SabreKai]

heh heh, my dad said the same thing about my girlfriend after I got back from college, and/or it was college itself that changed me for the worse.

Anyway, Im with Jim on this. People like that are on my don't bother/ignore list. I have better things to do with my time than deal with them. Latest one on the list is my brother who has finally honked me off enough. I wish him well. Just don't call or write yah hear?

You can't go thru life trying to please every one or meet everyones expectations. Figure out whats important to YOU and get on with it. My dad pissed me off badly once, I ended up going to Sam the Record Man on Young street and buying a copy of the Billy Joel song "My life". I drove up to his place and put it on the stereo, turned it on, told him to listen to it until he got it and then walked. ( it was a waste of time but what the hell, i had to try)  Its been an anthym to me for years.

My Life, Billy Joel

Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Said he couldn't go on the American way
Closed the shop, sold the house
Bought a ticket to the West Coast
Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong
You can speak your mind
But not on my time

They will tell you, you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you, you can't sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

I still belong, don't get me wrong
You can speak your mind
But not on my time

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone


Sabre
47 days n a wake up

[Bill Hicks]

I haven't been unlucky enough to have anybody THIS thoroughly unpleasant come into my life.  I will say though that there are about four catgories in to which I place people in regards to Peak Oil:

1).  Believers.  Unfortunately, I don't know many of these outside of these boards.  My father and my brother, but that's about it.

2).  Receptive.  People who when I talk about Peak Oil don't look at me like I'm from Mars.  I know a few of these.

3).  Clueless/Denial.  People who have no idea and look at me like I have two heads if I mention Peak Oil.  This category comprises the vast majority I know, though I hold out hope than some of them will "wake up" at some point.

4).  Hostile.  These are the people I wouldn't bother talking to about Peak Oil because I know they would get angry/defesive.  These are the ones I totally write off as James suggested.  Fortunately, I don't know many of them either.

Incidentally, my wife is somewhere between catagories two and three.  She knows there is something to it, but doesn't want to deal with it.

[TheDignityofStruggle]

I couldn't have asked for a better set of responses to this thread.  My favorite members chiming in, backing me up.  Good stuff. 

Yeah, this guy is a douche, and if he weren't my lady's step father, I would have socked him damn hard in the nose. I'm too cordial to ever act as if I am better than him, but chances are, the opportunity won't even arise.  He knows to avoid me at this point.   

I don't know much, but I do know that the LATOC lifestyle saved me and gave me meaning.  Everyone here teaches me something about self sufficiency, and tonight, I had a whole bunch of friends show up to drink my home made wine, sitting around the fire pit full of wood I chopped myself, and that wouldn't have happened had I not stumbled upon all of you great people.

It's sad to watch people we love get trapped in the chasm of consumerism and MSM propaganda.  I don't necessarily want TSTHTF, but when it does, it will be the best medicine there is for the soul of this country.

[houseoftang]

I'm lucky that there aren't many people in my life trying to live that kind of lifestyle, and I really don't care about them if they are.

While it certainly makes sense to mentally write someone off, don't totally count them as out.  Especially if they have any kind of useful skills or experience (and you might never know that they do).  Folks can come around in a hurry when they need to.  That just means don't turn your back on 'em, in this situation.

Confidence does go a long way.  If you start doubting yourself, others will start walking on you.  Women especially will notice.  It took me quite a while to just ignore what others say and have confidence in myself, since I do a pretty good job of being right.

[golddust]

I probably have no room to talk, given my current thread here in the psych ward   but I don't think this guy has a single redeeming quality that would even make him worthy of your time and attention. I swear he sounds like the epitome of the butt of every joke about egotistical bullshitters. Either MZB's or his own desperation and devastation will get him sooner or later. I'm sorry for your girlfriend though (and you by proxy) for having that as a family member. What a jip.  

[April]

Well, Dignity, you said all there is to say. This guy is a piece of shit, albeit misguided shit, and you shouldn't care what he thinks of you. That said, do your best to be low key with your girlfriend about this. I am sure she loves him, and it is hard when someone you love dislikes someone else you love. Try to celebrate that at least loving her is something you have in common.

[fredd58]

I could be completely wrong and/or totally full of shit  (nah, couldn't happen...could it?!). Anyway, when you were describing the totally useless ridiculous waste of money this fool has sunk into his now-upside down home, my immediate thought was *click* - THAT'S why he's so hostile. He's got EVERYTHING tied up in maintaining the fiction in his head. If he were to admit that he's been a stupid dick to himself, let alone his family...what's THAT gonna do to his head? Let alone his status in the family? He's gonna have to go from patriarch to chump in sixty seconds or less. Strange part is - HE ALREADY KNOWS IT - at least on some level and THAT'S where the hostility is coming from. Sooner or later, he's gonna have to go through a tsunami of radical attitude-shift and/or die - just that plain and simple.