Breaking Point

[MEA]

Saturday night, in the middle of Halloween madness, a neighbor rushed in, shouting that her husband was threatening to kill himself. I got my children and the friend they were trick or treating with across the road to another friends (via a rather startled couple who were takiing their baby out for her first Halloween, called 911 and got the neighbor calmed down enough to tell the dispatcher that her husband had taken their car and give them the description. At that point,  I "heroically" dumped the whole thing in yet another neighbor's lap and drove the visiting children home -- just of course as the police were arriving so as to have maxium confusion.

By the time I got back home with my chidlren, the police were gone, the neigbor was back home with people to keep her company. The husband was pulled over leaving Home Depo with an axe and very large knife just purchased. His wife puts it down to worry that he might lose his job. (I'm stick in here becuase I don't know whereelse to put it that there are in their 50s and childless, so we didn't have to worry about their kids.)

I am, naturally worried about them both, her more so in a way because she ran past 5 or 6 houses to get to mine in the believe that I was the only person who would know what to do. Calling 911 never occured to her. She thought perhaps I'd drive her on a wild goose chase after the husband and once we'd caught he, I'd talk him down. It's obsolutely frightening that she thinks I have such amazing powers. It's acutally made me want to distance myself from them. There are things I can do for people. There are things I can't. I don't want to be counted on for what I can't do.

[Bruce]

 Most here know that I was an officer for many years until I was able to retire. I have many friends that I talk to frequently that are still officers. People, they are worried. They see the cracks in people long before most neighboors even know there is a problem. Many people are losing it. They're losing jobs, faith, patience, dreams, possessions and hope. Things are unraveling in some areas more than others for sure but it is still unraveling just the same. In fact some of the guys are thinking of quitting because they are tired of seeing things get worse and worse for so many. It plays on them as well. They have to deal with it everyday in the lives and troubles of others. It is starting to take toll on everyone................................Bruce

[Xenopus]

Most here know that I was an officer for many years until I was able to retire. I have many friends that I talk to frequently that are still officers. People, they are worried. They see the cracks in people long before most neighboors even know there is a problem. Many people are losing it. They're losing jobs, faith, patience, dreams, possessions and hope. Things are unraveling in some areas more than others for sure but it is still unraveling just the same. In fact some of the guys are thinking of quitting because they are tired of seeing things get worse and worse for so many. It plays on them as well. They have to deal with it everyday in the lives and troubles of others. It is starting to take toll on everyone................................Bruce

Aha. I was thinking you were still a policeman in JAX. What happened? Where are you now?

[fredd58]

And this has ALWAYS been the one thing that worries me the most. All that anger, detachment, disillusionment, ostracism, depression, sense of powerlessness. These are the precise ingredients in a society that allows a demagogue to come to power - by tapping those feelings, by taking concrete steps (or the appearance thereof) to right some wrongs, by somehow creating jobs, etc. People will overlook the ugly when they are promised (and receive!) a return to normality, or their individual perception of normality, i.e., go to work, receive a paycheck, be able to pay the bills. Straight out of 'Mein Kampf.'

[MEA]

I've calmed down a bit since Halloween -- and haven't cast my neighbor adrift, though as long as she's still having momenbts where she can't stop shouting about what happened (and I don't blaime her for being upset) I wont' let her come over when the children around, I have been orgainizing rides for her (she can't drive) and going over the the middle of the night to wake for her medication that she has to take (she sleeps through alarm or phone calls). He's on a pysch hold.

After reading the above, about the cracks and stress, what I don't get is this. Admittededly, he had some sort of beak -- but there was stress leading up to it. Then've know (and laughed) about my being a doomer for years. They've relied on me to feed the cat when they are out of town, shop for them, arrange transport, take care of meds when he's out of town -- why didn't they feel they ask me for more help? Or someone? And not just them. There are obvious lots of people for whom things are falling apart and they aren't reaching out.

[fredd58]

MEA - from what I've seen a lot of folks are downright ashamed to admit they need help. That hasn't changed since the FIRST depression! (Though, admittedly, seems to be a whole bunch more people who aren't the least bit ashamed of accepting help - even when they don't need it!) Even more folks hate to admit being wrong, especially if they've argued vociferously against said position in the past. NOBODY likes to admit having failed, even when it's absolutely no fault of their own.

[dc62]

After reading the above, about the cracks and stress, what I don't get is this. Admittededly, he had some sort of beak -- but there was stress leading up to it. Then've know (and laughed) about my being a doomer for years. They've relied on me to feed the cat when they are out of town, shop for them, arrange transport, take care of meds when he's out of town -- why didn't they feel they ask me for more help? Or someone? And not just them. There are obvious lots of people for whom things are falling apart and they aren't reaching out.

It's very likely that your friend was suffering from depression.  What makes it difficult for people to understand is the very nature of the condition precludes them seeking help from others, which is why it is so difficult to successfully treat.  My wife has suffers from depression, having been diagnosed with clinical depression around 9 years ago.  Our marriage was about ready to end before she finally agreed to seek treatment.  For seven years she took a cocktail of medications which made things better for her, and for us.  Around two years ago she decided she wanted to get off the meds, her doctor said give it a try, and now she's worse than she's ever been, although her condition is certainly exacerbated by our financial situation.  I wouldn't even begin to suggest she get back on the meds because I know it would be a useless argument.  She thinks she's fine.  They all do.  Then one day, they just snap.  For your friend, that meant putting a bullet in his brain.