Dealing with animal death

[olympia]

We had our old lady kitty, Uma, euthanised yesterday.  She was at least 14, and suffering from an inflammatory intestinal disorder that caused misery across the board.  We put off euthanising her for a long time- tried new food, supplements, steroids.  In the end, none of it worked.  Also in the end, we could have just left her at the vet's office and had her ashes delivered to me in a discreet container.  That option was tempting- it's what we did with my last cat who died -but, with Uma, we opted to go another route.  We (well, mainly I, but SO was a sport and came along) decided we owed it to Uma to be with her as she was put to sleep, and handle her body whole, to bury it in our own back yard.  So that's what we did.  This probably doesn't sound like a lot to those of you who deal with animal death on a regular basis, and truthfully, it doesn't sound like a lot to me, either -I not only grew up on a farm, on which animals were often dead, but got to deal with dead people too as a nurse's aide -but the fact is death has always left me on the verge of fainting, and the fact I chose to deal with Uma's death hands on instead of leaving it to others, is a big deal to me.  It feels like a big time prep to me.

[mtlouie]

(((hugs)))

It's hard to watch the passing of a dear friend, no matter what.

Thinking of you.

[olympia]

^Thanks, mtlouie.
I'm proud of myself for opting to be there at the end for Uma.  I couldn't do it for Cooper, my beloved cat who died five years ago.  In Cooper's case, I was really upset-  I went to bed feeling everything was fine and woke up with a terminally ill cat (he had congestive heart failure, which he probably had been showing signs of for a while but cats will hide stuff as long as they can).  Cooper was euthanised while I went home and later cremated- I still have his ashes.  It felt a lot, I don't know, CLEANER, to witness Uma's peaceful death and shovel earth unto her myself.  And it felt, somehow, just respectful to her too.

[Dasha]

I feel that it is a great honour to be with someone at the end of their life, and I believe that includes animals too. I have had five animals euthanized over the years - 2 dogs and 3 cats and I held each of them as they died. It does not get any easier with practice.

Some people just can't do it, and that's fine too.

I'm sorry for your loss. Cats are marvelous creatures, and you know how much you loved this particular one.

[mtlouie]

I left my dear friend, Alex, alone to be euthanized because I couldn't handle it.  I will never do it again.  Ever.  It's been almost twenty years and I have never gotten over the guilt and the look in her eyes as I shut the door on the vets examining room.  She was fifteen and was ran over by a car, and had inoperable hip injuries.

I also had my loyal old lab put down because she had lost control of her bowels.  Her mind was still intact.  I will never do that again.  If I have to haul a dog outside in a wheelbarrow, I will do it.  She was terrified when she got the calming shot.  She knew what was coming.

There are many things I would do over in my life if I could.  Those are two.

The good story is about my son's old lab who lived a good, long life and was in very, very bad shape when our vet came to the house to put him to sleep.  I got right down in his face and loved him to the other side and bawled my eyes out.

About a week later I had a dream that he was sitting with us in the living room.  I said, "I don't know why [our vet] gave him that shot.  He looks great."  Then I realized I was dreaming and I thought, "Sam is dead."  Then he started licking me, and I could smell his breath and I woke up.

About a week later I had another dream that he and I were at the edge of beautiful stream, with a foot bridge over it.  Beyond the stream was a meadow going up a hill, and at the top was a beautiful, giant, old oak tree. 

We were sitting there, and I was playing with him and talking to him.  Then all of a sudden I realized he wanted to go over the hill, that there was someone waiting for him there.  And then I woke up.

I think in the first two instances, my pups weren't read to go, because they just weren't ready.  But Sam's body had completely worn out. He was ready to go.

[olympia]

I made the final decision to have Uma euthanised when she shit, on the bed, inches away from my head, while I was sleeping there.  I've worried that there was some malice in my decision, but I tend to think -as others have told me -that Ms. U was telling me something with that act.  And the way Uma took the pre-op Valium shot- no stress, she just became completely stoned -makes me think she was at peace with dying.

[Dasha]

If we get a do-over with an animal, I'd like it to be with our cat Buddy. He was the sweetest little guy, and everyone's favourite.

He came home one night in obvious distress with dirt and grease all over him which I proceeded to try to wash off in the bathtub. He was looking really bad so I took him to the emergency vet hospital. The vet xrayed him and said that Buddy had been hit by a car and that he had never seen a cat so messed up inside who was still alive. I then knew that this sweet cat had dragged himself home to us and I had BATHED him. He didn't even object. That still haunts me. I petted him after the vet euthanized him until his body grew cold and I couldn't feel his presence anymore. And then went home and told my kids the next morning that the cat that they loved so much had died in the night.

I've got an idea - let's just forgive ourselves for any and all mistakes that we have made with our animals. I'm pretty sure that they would want it that way.

[residualheat]

I feel that it is a great honour to be with someone at the end of their life, and I believe that includes animals too. I have had five animals euthanized over the years - 2 dogs and 3 cats and I held each of them as they died. It does not get any easier with practice.

Some people just can't do it, and that's fine too.

I'm sorry for your loss. Cats are marvelous creatures, and you know how much you loved this particular one.

I agree with all of that, Dasha.

Me and Mr heat both held our Toby when he died. He always hated going to the vets so we had the vet come to our house and sat in the sun in the garden. Toby was looking into my eyes as the vet put the needle in and I was the last thing he saw. At the moment he died it felt like something ripped out of my heart.

Poor little man, he was so ill and ready to go. We'd tried everything to make him better but it didn't work. He was my best friend and we spent almost all our time with each other. His death hurt more than any other I've ever known. We wrapped him in a blanket and buried him under an old apple tree. I cut some of his fur before we did it and still have it in a little box.

[zenobia]

I have lost three wonderful dogs in the past three years.  Emma, my little Corgi with lymphoma, sat with me while I dug her grave in the backyard by the potager.  Then we all (the boys, their girlfriends, and I) took her to the vet and then brought her home.  A month later, my big Lab boy, Sirius, died at 14 of a broken heart and old age - he missed Emma.  The boys slept with him all night the night he was stricken.  We took him to the vet in the morning - all of us.  He was buried next to Emma in the back yard.   The boys dug his grave since I was just too broken hearted.   Donny, my old handsome Corgi boy, died the day the movers came to load the truck in CA for the move back to Maine in June.  My big fear was that he would die before we got back to Maine, and this came true.  I had the money to have him cremated and he will go into the ground with Emma and Sirius in the spring when I plant shrubs in and around them.

I have two old Corgis and a young Corgi now (in addition to a son's pit bull mix, who is a dear).  I really hope Rana, who is 14 and was Donny's litter mate, will last through the winter.  Frieda is 11 and still is a spry, silly girl.


It just sucks.  I think of all the wonderful dogs, cats, and horses I have had and I miss them all. 

I love Ches's Rainbow Bridge story.

[residualheat]

That's really sad about Sirius, zenobia. It's sad about all of them.

Toby wasn't that old, only eleven and a half, but he developed a rare auto-immune disorder and there was no cure for it. I still miss him.

I posted this dream elsewhere but it's worth mentioning again. In it, me and Mr heat had just died and we found ourselves standing together on a causeway. There was darkness around us and a light ahead. Between us stood a tall young man who I didn't recognise and I asked him who he was and he said 'I'm Toby' and I said 'So, that's who you are'. It was like he was coming to guide us.

[mtlouie]

Oh, you guys, I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out.  I know this probably  isn't normal human behavior, but animals just tear my heart out.  I feel bad when people are hurting, but when animals are, I just can't take it.

Dasha, you are right.  It's best to forgive.  Even ourselves.

I had a sweet little Heeler that was hit by our neighbor.  The guy was just driving down the road in front of the house and Kelt ran out and hit  his head on the bumper.  He turned around and came flying to the house, right up to me, yelping his little head off.  I thought he had just been smacked hard.  But he laid right down at my feet and died.  He managed to get back to mom first.

residual- that was an awesome dream.   

[residualheat]

You've got me going as well now, lou!

I know this probably  isn't normal human behavior, but animals just tear my heart out.

I feel exactly the same, always have done. It's a really intense emotion, isn't it.

[akaskip]

   The loss of any animal you have cared for for years is hard but to be able to be with them in their final moment and
 to be able to say a proper goodbye makes the heart a little less heavy.

  We had to put our beagle down a while back, he was 12 and though we have lost and buried our share of animal friends over the years for some reason i didn't think a hole in the ground was what he wanted?, so i paid the 40 bucks to have him cremated and he sits with his picture here by the computer where we usually spent our many evenings together. When i pass to the next life i would like our ashes mixed together and spread where the family thinks it's most appropriate


  Sorry for your loss

We had our old lady kitty, Uma, euthanised yesterday.  She was at least 14, and suffering from an inflammatory intestinal disorder that caused misery across the board.  We put off euthanising her for a long time- tried new food, supplements, steroids.  In the end, none of it worked.  Also in the end, we could have just left her at the vet's office and had her ashes delivered to me in a discreet container.  That option was tempting- it's what we did with my last cat who died -but, with Uma, we opted to go another route.  We (well, mainly I, but SO was a sport and came along) decided we owed it to Uma to be with her as she was put to sleep, and handle her body whole, to bury it in our own back yard.  So that's what we did.  This probably doesn't sound like a lot to those of you who deal with animal death on a regular basis, and truthfully, it doesn't sound like a lot to me, either -I not only grew up on a farm, on which animals were often dead, but got to deal with dead people too as a nurse's aide -but the fact is death has always left me on the verge of fainting, and the fact I chose to deal with Uma's death hands on instead of leaving it to others, is a big deal to me.  It feels like a big time prep to me.

[commonsensical]

My do over would be my Irish Setter...my father took him to be pts while I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth pulled, and I didn't go with. I still wish I had, and I wish I had a better understanding of his medical condition and the treatment he received. I don't think the vet handled it in the best way, and I didn't know how best to care for him either (I was a teenager, didn't know much yet).

Since then, I've stayed with my animals as they've been euthanized, and I'm always amazed at the peacefulness of the process.

Olympia, sorry for your loss.

[Dasha]

The hardest thing I think is to decide when to actually have an animal put down. Our lovely dog Smiley lived to be 16, but he was 80 pounds and when he could no longer manage the stairs and lost control of his bowels, it became just so hard to help him. Looking back, I think I may have let him go on too long. He wasn't having any fun. If he was a wild animal he would have gone off to die long before he did, but his love for us kept him hanging on.

I guess it's a fine balance between us not wanting to let our animals go, and them needing to end their lives.

I really wish one of my animals would die peacefully under the apple tree.