Where the hell do they find these losers?! *Update*

[Six Gun Jim]

You'll find your "friend" book shrinks down A LOT too. That's the part most people don't deal with well. Oh well, better 3 friends than 90 useless acquaintances.

[golddust]

Thank you, redreamer. 

[Macs UK]

better 3 friends than 90 useless acquaintances

So true!

Well done, Golddust - I think the reactions of the Vampire and the Crackhead are a real vindication of your decision 

[quietnite]

OMG, The Vampire and the Crackhead...I would definitely read a book with that title.

[golddust]

OMG, The Vampire and the Crackhead...I would definitely read a book with that title.

Geeeeez! 

[cygnus]

So I'm certain you all know the ending to this story. 

Well, don't be so sure this is the end of the story.  I predict she will be back on your virtual doorstep again in a few months.  These kind of folks don't take "no" for an answer - especially if they are borderline or narcissistic.  They generally try being all nicey-nice after a bit and then try to stick it to you again when your guard is down.   

But good for you!  Just remember why you kicked her out of your life in the first place when she comes back around again.  Good luck. 

[golddust]

So I'm certain you all know the ending to this story. 

Well, don't be so sure this is the end of the story.  I predict she will be back on your virtual doorstep again in a few months.  These kind of folks don't take "no" for an answer - especially if they are borderline or narcissistic.  They generally try being all nicey-nice after a bit and then try to stick it to you again when your guard is down.   

But good for you!  Just remember why you kicked her out of your life in the first place when she comes back around again.  Good luck. 

Cygnus, you're right. Exactly that happened to me before. We've done this song and dance for the last 5 years. Ten years really, but mostly in the last five. But I'm not the same person I was last time we did this 2.5 years ago. And besides that, the key difference too is that I realize I don't even like her as a person. Before, I thought I liked her but her narcissism and co-dependency drove me away. So when she showed up again, I gave her a chance because I thought maybe she had changed and thought she was nice to hang out with. In reality, she's got the personality of a slug that has just experienced salt. Combine that with her poor judgment and narcissism and Borderline personality and I think I'd rather take my chances with a curmudgeonly dragon. The fire will at least be a pretty thing to see just before I enter the afterlife. 

And I'd just like to say again I AM FREE OF HER! It's a good feeling to purge the toxins. 

[Dutch chick]

But what if it is a co-worker that you have to work with for 8 hours in the same office, literally sitting next to each other?
I've already backed off on our "friendship" by not getting together outside of work, but he is a drama queen and must have drama in his life all the time.  That's how he gets attention. 

Help!!!

[cygnus]

But what if it is a co-worker that you have to work with for 8 hours in the same office, literally sitting next to each other?
I've already backed off on our "friendship" by not getting together outside of work, but he is a drama queen and must have drama in his life all the time.  That's how he gets attention. 
Help!!!

Earphones and music?  Dunno, that's a tough one if you also have to talk to him. 

You might just have to get blunt with him, I guess.  Something like "You know, I've noticed over the years that you always seem to have something awful going on in your life.  Don't you ever get tired of it?  I know I sure would.  Have you thought about therapy?"

[golddust]

But what if it is a co-worker that you have to work with for 8 hours in the same office, literally sitting next to each other?
I've already backed off on our "friendship" by not getting together outside of work, but he is a drama queen and must have drama in his life all the time.  That's how he gets attention. 

Help!!!

D:

My idea is this. Tell him that you don't think you're compatible as friends and you just want to remain civil as co-workers and don't want any hard feelings. Ignore whining and ignore threats if he takes it that far, but report them to HR immediately. Ignore everything he says on a general basis, bring headphones if you need to, refuse to discuss anything besides strictly work related stuff and if he injects drama into the middle of even that say, "sorry, I don't believe that's relevant. Now back to the real issue..." and quickly change the tune. Talk over him if you have to and don't even justify his drama with a response. Shut him down. I would go ahead now and give HR a warning. Tell them you're having issues with someone being a drama queen (or whatever more polite term) and you feel like since you've set some strict boundaries, they may start lashing out. If he goes to complain to HR, they'll already know the story and know what's happening since you went to them first. Don't lie or exaggerate and always maintain your integrity. These people have given me a wonderful lesson in what it truly means to have integrity because if yours is not 100% they will use it against you. Maybe you've made some honest mistakes you didn't think went against your integrity or just realized later it wasn't a great idea, that's only human and normal people would be forgiving and understand. But around them you need to very mindful. It is ammunition and they can really destroy your credibility with one mistake.

Give us an update soon, especially if you still need some help! I've been dealing with these jokers hardcore for about the last 4 years and I've learned some hard lessons from it. I'm happy to pass that knowledge on.

[ArmaGoof]

When I acquired my latest step-son, eight years ago, he was 18 and describing him as a "drama-king" was an understatement.  He would go off on anger tirades, crying jags, cutting himself and every event in his life was bad, and of course someone elses' fault.  Before a month had passed, he and his mother got into a huge argument, I forget about what, but he was yelling and screaming at her, calling her names and generally being a huge asshole.  I listened calmly for about 10 minutes and then I got up and walked up to him within about 3 inches of his face.  Very calmly and very seriously, I said "Josh, I will not tolerate anymore raised voices in this house.  Anyone who violates that rule from THIS moment on will no longer reside here.  Is that absolutely clear?"  He simply nodded and went up to his room.  Apparently, no one had ever stood up to him before.  Ever since, there has been no screaming or angry tantrums.  He has many issues and drama will always be a part of his life, but it is important to set non-negotiable boundaries.

Now, a colleague at work is quite a different matter.  I agree with golddust that you should get HR involved immediately.  Harassment can come in many forms and is essentially defined by the victim.  Additionally, if you have complained to your immediate supervisor and they have done nothing, they are just as liable for disciplinary action.  HR's job is, among other things, to guard the company against lawsuits, no matter how frivolous they might seem.  Any company would rather get rid of potential trouble than go through litigation caused by such a person.  Speak up now, put it in writing as well and as often as it takes to get action.